The Guy Who Yells Freebird Ringtones

Ooh The greatest stories ever told Have a hero who must be bold They learn a sense of right and wrong And better learn the sense through song Musicals tell the impossible (The impossible) They evoke the philosophical, ooh yeah So tonight we're gonna chronicle A story so astronomical The last remaining story to tell The guy who didn't like musicals (Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em) (Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em) I mean what the fuck? (Didn't like, did not like-a-like 'em) He's the guy who didn't like musicals (Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em) (Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em) Yeah, what the fuck? (Didn't like, did not like like-a-like 'em) In the tiny town of Hatchetfield Lived an awful grinch named Paul He spends his days surfing the web And not singing and dancing with us all Should we kill him? Should we kill him? Oh, he pines after a cute little barista Isn't that worth a show stopping fiesta, yeah But for some damn reason He won't join our singing season What an ass What a bitch What a cock The guy who didn't like musicals (Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em) (Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em) I mean what the fuck? (Didn't like, did not like, did not like like-a-like 'em) He's the guy who didn't like musicals (Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em) Na, na, na, na, na... Na, na, na, na, na, ah... (Didn't like, did not like, did not like like-a-like 'em) It's the end of the world, Paul (end of the world) If you don't sing (if you don't sing) This is the bridge, Paul (this is the bridge) Where we globalize everything And the words will come to you We swear we will teach you What it means to love What it means to obey, Paul The apotheosis is upon us Yay! Did you hear the word? What's the word? He's a coming Who's a coming? Paul's a comin' Paul's a comin'? The star of the show Now for his headlining entrance Time to swoon at his leading man essence His name is in the title He's destined to go viral Here he is His name is Paul Enter now! Where the fuck is he? I have no fucking clue The guy just doesn't like musicals (Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em) (Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em) Yeah (Didn't like, did not like, did not like like-a-like 'em) He's the guy who didn't like musicals (Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em) Na, na, na, na, na Na, na, na, na, na, ah... (Didn't like, did not like, did not like like-a-like 'em) Ooh And he definitely won't like me, yeah (Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em) (Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em) (Didn't like, did not like, did not like like-a-like 'em) He's the guy who didn't like musicals (Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em) Na, na, na, na, na Na, na, na, na, na, ah... (Didn't like, did not like, did not like like-a-like 'em) Paul, you piece of shit

If I leave here tomorrow Would you still remember me? For I must be travelling on, now, 'Cause there's too many places I've got to see. But, if I stayed here with you, girl, Things just couldn't be the same. 'Cause I'm as free as a bird now, And this bird you can not change. Lord knows, I can't change. Bye, bye, its been a sweet love. Though this feeling I can't change. But please don't take it badly, 'Cause Lord knows I'm to blame. But, if I stayed here with you girl, Things just couldn't be the same. Cause I'm as free as a bird now, And this bird you'll never change. And this bird you can not change. Lord knows, I can't change. Lord help me, I can't change

Emma, I'm sorry You lost Emma, I'm sorry You lost your way What if I told you I made it And this is the life that I chose? Would you even believe it, Emma? Do you believe in ghosts? What if told you a story That settled all the dust? I'm still the man you trust It's inevitable for us No! Get away from me! You're not Paul, you're one of them! Before, I had no ambition But now my life is a song Don't you want to see me happy? Is it so tragically wrong? What if the only choice is You have to sing to survive? We must go on with the show It's inevitable... To know what I want now (know what you want now) Emma, I want you to join the party Are you going to tip me? (Get your cup of coffee!) Look at the fun we're having already! (What?) I found my calling You can do the same now Put your words to lyrics And you're playing the game now It's all there is and all there ever was Emma! Let me puke in your mouth And just open your food bin, girl And you can join the hive Then show me your hands! Show me those jazz hands! Get em' up or you're shit outta luck! Show me your hands! Show me those jazz hands! Or I might be inclined... To plant my seed! The hive needs to feed! Happiness is guaranteed! If you just give us one last... Show-stopping number! With Emma front and center! A kick line is inevitable! What if I told you a story How the world became peaceful and just? It was inevitable! Inevitable! Inevitable! The apotheosis is upon us!

Ma'am, I need you to take a step back You're facing the law, not the clerk at The Gap Yeah, we're cops Yeah, we're cops You'd better shape on up You better empty out all of them pockets But don't empty out all of them pockets Yeah, we're cops Yeah, we're cops And we make sense Show me your hands! Show me those jazz hands Get 'em up or you'll end up in cuffs Show me your hands Show me those jazz hands Or I might Be inclined To shoot you up You go forty in a thirty-five Check your mirror, you'll find hell has arrived 'Cause we're cops Yeah, we're cops We're up in your shi-et Kathy lost her cat in a tree Contact Fire, not the HFPD 'Cause we're cops Yeah, we're cops Her cat is dead! Show me your hands Show me those jazz hands Get 'em up or you'll end up in cuffs Show me your hands Show me those jazz hands Or I might Be inclined to shoot you Step away from the vehicle Step away from the vehicle Get back in the vehicle Get back in the vehicle Slowly get out of the vehicle Slowly get out of the vehicle Do the things I say, I'm a cop Step away from the vehicle (Get those hands up) {whee-yoo, whee-yoo} Step away from the vehicle (Get those hands up) {whee-yoo, whee-yoo} Get back in the vehicle (Put those hands up) {whee-yoo, whee-yoo} Get back in the vehicle (Put those hands up) {whee-yoo, whee-yoo} Slowly get out of the vehicle (Get those hands up) Slowly get out of the vehicle (Get those hands up) Do the things I say (Up, down!) I'm a cop! 9-1-1, emergency call Got a 4-1-1, at a shopping mall Better pack your heat and utility belt Any mall rats comin' in hot, they'll melt Sarge, that's your wife on the 9-1-1 What that bitch want, Sarge She wants to snug Grab your nine millimetre and a doughnut bucket Want my badge number Put in your mouth and suck it! Oh, Sam, please stop! I'm your wife, just talk to me, baby! Show me your hands (ba-pa-ra-ba-ra) Show me those jazz hands (ba-pa-ra-ba-ra) Get 'em up or you'll end up in cuffs (ba-pa-ra-ba-ra) Show me your hands (uh-ba-pa-ra-ba-ra) Show me those jazz hands (ba-pa-ra-ba-ra) Or I might Be inclined To shoot you

I'm not your girl anymore I'm not that tween that you drove here for I'm not your girl anymore I overtook her body with an infectious spore You left me out of your sight for one second And look what happens, nightmare time It's worse than you could imagine Not sex and not drugs Just alien invading minds No more family vacays together 'Cause your only daughter's under the weather And if you actually paid attention to me You'd see, I'm not your seed I'm not your angsty teen No matter what you believe The apple's fallen far from the tree It's not my fault anymore No more curfews to be late for It's not my fault anymore No more being worried and waiting by the door Did you know that I wanted to live with you? (Look what happens, nightmare time) O-ooh When you needed to fight, You gave her that too (Aliens invading minds) Ah-ooh Did you know mom let Deb sleep over? And you're right about Deb, she's a hardcore stoner And if you wonder what lead your daughter astray Well, daddy wasn't here to say Not your seed I'm not your perfect teen I'm fucking seventee-en At least I was before you left me Why does it hurt to love you? Why am I in pain? Why does it hurt to know you? You'll let me down again If I turned my insides out, Would you even know that I was there? Why does it hurt to love you? Why does it hurt To love? I'm not your seed (Not your girl, not your girl) Now maybe you'll listen to me (Listen to me, listen to me) I'm sure you'll let me bleed (Let me bleed) Not at all your seed 'Cause I'm not your girl anymore

Get your cup of roasted coffee Your morning cup of Joey We'll make a jamming cup of java Mocha latte with the froth for you, Jack Frappuccino with the freshly roasted mung beans It's a caramel drizzle mud in a cup With a drip, drip, drip drip, drip And we'll bring it right up! Hey Mr. Business How do you do? Can we get a triple for you? Decaf! Wha-at? Decaf! Wha-at? Doo-doo do-doo-doo Do-doo-doo do-doo-doo And we'll bring it right up! Oy oy oy! Ah... And we'll bring it And we'll bring it Right- Right- Right- And we'll bring it right up!

What's in your soul? Is your heart so damp and bleak That you won't give us a peek of your soul? Just let it out There's a voice inside of you On the edge of coming through What's it about? And I know it's a singular voice, Paul You've just got to give up your choice Just let it out, let it out, let it out! Let it out, let it out, let it out! Just let it out, let it out, let it out! Let it out, let it out— (Never!) What was that? You let it out Was that a note (or just a sound?) (Am I finally coming round to a rhyming scheme?) Oh god! Just (stop it!) I'm split in two! Is this me, (or is this you?) (Am I dead?) I'm coming apart (At the seams!) (La da da da da da da da da) NO! (No no no no no no no!) Just let it out, let it out, let it out! Let it out, let it out, let it out! Just let it out, let it out, let it out! Let it out, let it out, let it I've never been happy (Wouldn't that be nice?) Is this the secret? (Singing and dancing through life?) Is my integrity worth anything at all? (But happiness can't come before its fall) Am I crazy? (Maybe I've always been) I've become what I've hated? (Or maybe I never did, It's awful freeing now) To share the hate I felt But what will I let in if I Let it out? Let it out, let it out, let it out! (Am I crazy?) I don't think so Let it out, let it out, let it out! (Maybe I've always been) Just let it out, let it out, let it out! God help me out! Let it out, let it out If I let it (Out!) We will not be resisted I don't like musicals!

It is time To die! Sorry to interrupt But we got bones to pluck The time for chaos is long past overdue Death isn't optional In fact it's optimal Your time is up And now we go through you We tried to convince you In soliloquy But now we'll kill you With more than harmony! Just die Join us And die Join us And die Join us And die All you gotta do is Join us And die Join us And die Join us And die All you gotta do is! Here's how it's gonna go We're gonna kick your ass And then we're gonna Fucking kick your ass We're gonna puke all that goo Into your mouth where your food And all your cells will renew and be enhanced It's a death-like process that you gotta see Ahhhhh Your own body Is your front row seat To die! Join us And die Join us And die Join us And die All you gotta do is Join us And die Join us And die Join us and Punch it! Squeeze it! Crush it! Kill it! Ride it! Drag it! Wind it up Kick its nuts! Here's how it's gonna go—